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TWICE's Pet Gerbil

TTF Joke Corner :^)

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Share your jokes here! Maybe you'll help cheer someone up, maybe you'll provide someone with material for the next time they're in an awkward situation and need to joke their way out. :jy-jks:

I wasn't sure whether to put this in the Games or the General Discussion, but games kinda require an objective and rules at the very least, but this has neither (beyond the general forum rules of course) so I decided to place it here.

Anyway, here's my favourite joke; bear with me, 'cause it's quite long, lol:

There's a trans-atlantic flight from New York to London. The plane is halfway across the ocean when one of its four engines loses power. The pilot says on the intercom "Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. Just letting you know we've had one engine fail, but no need to fear, we can get by on the other three, but we will be arriving about 30 minutes late. Apologies for the inconvenience and hope you enjoy the rest of the flight." The passengers are unhappy but remain calm. A few minutes later, the intercom comes on again: "Hi again ladies and gents. Don't mean to alarm you but we have lost another engine. No need to panic, however, everything's under control and we're still on course, we'll just be about an hour late now. Apologies again for the inconvenience." The passengers grumble at the increasing delay. Some time passes before the intercom comes on yet again and the pilot says: "Hello everyone, really, really sorry, but we've now lost our third engine. But everything's fine. The modern aircraft is a marvel of technology and we can manage just fine with only one engine but unfortunately it does mean we're going to be an hour and a half late. Apologies once again for the inconvenience."

At this, one of the passengers turns to the person sitting next to them and says frustratedly: "I hope we don't lose the last engine, we'll be here all night!":sn-ay:

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1 minute ago, Kh3ngboon said:

They say "Life is fun without joke".

Well, I am a joke. So yeah, life's fun without me. :>

LIES!!!! Reported for dishonesty!!! :ny-look:

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Police: Where do you live?

Me: With my parents.

Police: Where do your parent live?

Me: With Me.

Police: Where do you all live?

Me: Together.

Police: Where is your house?

Me: Next to my neighbors house.

Police: Where is your neighbors house?

Me: You won't belive me if I tell you

Police: Tell Me!

Me: Next to my house.

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Pinoys or Filipino guysss knows this but I will translate it to English for you guysss!

(Note: Open the spoiler if you don't know the answer or your too eager to saw the answer)

3 ways to insert the giraffe inside the refrigerator

Spoiler

1. open the ref

2. insert the giraffe

3. then close it

4 ways to insert the elephant inside the refrigerator

Spoiler

1. open the ref

2. bring the giraffe outside

3. insert the elephant

4. then close it again

Then here's another its a bit long but bear with me okay?

There was a woman that want to live in another place so she decided to bring all her properties in an airplane. At the middle of the flight, the pilot ask the woman to eliminate one of her properties as the airplane will crash if she didn't bring out one of her properties outside the airplane. What do you think the woman bring out so the airplane wouldn't crash?

Spoiler

The refrigerator as the elephant is inside of it, so if the ref continue to be inside the airplane, it might crash because of the weight of the elephant.

(Disclaimer: it is sooooooooooo cornyyyyy I'm veryyyyyyyyyy sorrrrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy!) :jy-flee:

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On 16/12/2017 at 9:59 PM, Onces said:

H-how do you greet someone with the name Gert?

Yo, Gert!

;-;

  Reveal hidden contents

yogurt 

 

well that was a cute joke :sn-aww: 

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25 minutes ago, MyiMina said:

well that was a cute joke :sn-aww: 

acute :ty-peek:

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Found this one and it made me giggle:ty-hehe:

“Sir, you cannot fish here!”
“Don’t worry, I’m not fishing, I’m just teaching my worm to swim.”

 

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A man is driving along and comes across a creature with three eyes, no arms and one leg, apparently trying to hitchhike. He stops, leans out the window and says "Ay ay ay, you look 'armless, hop in!" :sn-ay:

Edited by TWICE's Pet Gerbil

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15 minutes ago, TWICE's Pet Gerbil said:

A man is driving along and comes across a creature with three eyes, no arms and one leg, apparently trying to hitchhike. He stops, leans out the window and says "Ay ay ay, you look 'armless, hop in!" :sn-ay:

I don't get it :dh-wut:

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1 minute ago, TWICE's Pet Gerbil said:

Because the creature has three eyes, no arms and one leg. :jy-utried:

:mm-wut:

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1 minute ago, Phebe said:

:mm-wut:

It's a stupid joke my dad told me a long time ago, really. Some variations of the joke remove the three eyes thing, maybe because not everyone will get the "ay ay ay"  bit. :jy-hmm:

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"Doctor, doctor! People keep on ignoring me!"

"Next patient!"

:sn-ay:

Edited by TWICE's Pet Gerbil

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On 12/27/2017 at 2:48 AM, TWICE's Pet Gerbil said:

A man is driving along and comes across a creature with three eyes, no arms and one leg, apparently trying to hitchhike. He stops, leans out the window and says "Ay ay ay, you look 'armless, hop in!" :sn-ay:

This got me cracking :ny-lol:

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